


Little Rosy Cheeks

by Caitlinnetje



Series: Tentacle Tragical Trilogy [3]
Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: Alcohol, Boys Kissing, Childbirth, Children of Characters, Drunk Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fame, Gay Sex, Husbands, Love, M/M, Music, Parenthood, Rough Kissing, Sex, SquidwardxSpongebob, Unplanned Pregnancy, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:55:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 17,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28028892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caitlinnetje/pseuds/Caitlinnetje
Summary: At their wedding SpongeBob and Squidward share a very intimate moment, leaving SpongeBob feeling a bit weird afterwards. Squidward has other things to keep himself busy however; finally becoming famous.
Relationships: SpongeBob SquarePants/Squidward Tentacles
Series: Tentacle Tragical Trilogy [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1979503
Comments: 22
Kudos: 17





	1. A day to remember

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Can a Sponge and an Octopus Fall in Love?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27103198) by [Sandersedge](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandersedge/pseuds/Sandersedge). 



> Ah, took me long enough to finally update the trilogy. Hopefully it was worth the wait, and hopefully posting the next chapter won't take me as long. I was really missing writing about their intimate moments (and everything else of course), so yeah, I am finally back.  
> Thanks to Sandersedge's amazing stories for inspiring me for something that is going to happen later on in the story, which might or might not involve someone little ;)  
> Hope you all enjoy the first part of the last part of the trilogy!

“Sponge, are you ready?”

Squidward is calling for his loved one from beneath the stairs. SpongeBob is a little shocked to hear him inside his home and quickly folds himself inside the sheets from his bed before coming out.

“SQUIDWARD! You know you aren’t supposed to see me!”

The only response he gets is an annoyed hum, Squidward not agreeing with all this not-being-able-to-see-your-significant-other-before-the-wedding thing. But if it makes the sponge happy, well, let’s let him be happy he decides. He has every right to be happy on their wedding day.

He takes place on a chair downstairs, fiddling with the sleeves of his jacket. It’s a bit big on him, that stupid fish of a tailor had measured the length of his arms wrong. He grins thinking about that. _If only it would’ve been my… other arm… he’d think was too big._

His eyes suddenly widen in shock; did he just think about that ON HIS WEDDING DAY?! He feels a little disgusted and tries to get rid of the words in his mouth by rubbing his tongue with his tentacle, leaving a bit of saliva on the sleeve of his jacket. He now looks at that grossed out. _Great, you’re going to marry SpongeBob with a jacket full of drool. Wonderful…_

He tries to rub it off but is only making it worse, the little droplets now actually a stain. Growling he walks up the stairs to get a towel from the bathroom and try and get it cleaned before someone else can see what he just did.

He mumbles to himself on his way up: “If that nitwit would’ve just made this expensive suit properly like he was _supposed_ to none of this would’ve happened, none of it, and I would just be---”

He opens the door to reveal SpongeBob standing there, adjusting his suit in the mirror. He is wearing a light-blue jacket with slightly darker pants, a silky pink shawl wrapped around his neck. And he looks… incredibly handsome.

“Sponge… I…” Squidward not even being able to speak proper sentences looking at him, feeling his stomach flutter and wanting to kiss him so bad.

SpongeBob is just trying to shield himself from Squidward, quickly jumping inside the bathtub and closing the shower curtain behind him, hoping that Squidward hadn’t actually seen him. He panickily turns to him: “GO AWAY SQUIDDY, YOU CAN’T SEE ME YET! YOU CAN’T, YOU CAN’T!”

Squidward ignores this and opens the curtain, taking the startled sponge’s hand in his. “You look wonderful.”

SpongeBob quickly forgets the ‘proper’ way to get married he had read about in one of the magazines he picked up a couple months before and wraps his arms around Squidward. “So do you.”

Squidward can feel himself starting to blush at this compliment. Even with a jacket full of drool he still thinks that he is handsome. He could have known. The kid has always thought he was handsome. He just laughs, “I know”, before coming closer and kissing him passionately, letting their tongues twist around each other’s and SpongeBob moaning softly, pushing himself against Squidward’s warm body.

Squidward has to contain himself with all his strength to stop from laying SpongeBob down in the bathtub and pleasing him right there, right now. But his suit probably wouldn’t look much better if they did that. Instead he lets go of their kiss and puts the sponge down on his own two feet, SpongeBob looking up at him lovingly, probably having thought the exact same.

Squidward reaches for his shawl, that is now twisted around his entire body, and adjusts it for him. SpongeBob enjoying the touching of his tentacles on his skin.

“I love you, Squiddy.”

Squidward taking a few steps back to look at SpongeBob’s entire outfit. “I love you too.” He licks his tentacle and goes over one of SpongeBob’s pores, making him shiver and whisper his name. “And you look handsome too.”

Everyone is gathered around the Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob had wanted nothing else than getting married at this special place. The place they had their first date, the place they made up, and the place they decided to get married. Squidward had just sighed, wanting to give in to SpongeBob’s every desire because of the horrible things he did to him, but not particularly liking the idea himself.

As the couple reaches the fields he is surprised however, and tears are forming inside his eyes. The place is beautifully decorated. A white arch, covered in pink flowers, is the center of attention, the chairs all put in front of it, all the guests now turning their attention to the two walking closer. The table with the drinks and the wedding cake is decorated in the same colors as the flowers, just as Squidward’s exquisite taste would desire it to be. And the cake itself… he couldn’t even begin to describe how good it looks. It certainly didn’t come from Mr. Crustacean’s bakery down the street, that is for sure.

SpongeBob has noticed Squidward’s trembling, looking over at what he is so distracted by.

“Do you like it? Sandy called the fanciest baker in town to make this for us. Do you see the little top piece, it’s us!” SpongeBob jumps up and down, excited for Squidward to see what he had ordered.

The top piece indeed is two figurines of Squidward and SpongeBob, embraced in a hug, their hands tightly together. Squidward inspects it for a while, looking at every little detail, making sure his eyes aren’t missing anything. After some time he points at SpongeBob’s figurine and whispers in his lover’s ear: “You’re missing a pore there.”

SpongeBob starts blushing, turning away and trying to hide his face. Luckily his father has come up to the scene, catching their attention.

“Are you ready, son?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be!” SpongeBob cheers, squeezing Squidwards tentacle lightly. “Are _you_ ready, Squidward?”

Squidward nods, suddenly overwhelmed with feelings, realizing he is going to get married now. Realizing he is going to get married to the kid who has been annoying him so much for all these years. And realizing this annoying kid is the only person he would want to be married to. “Yes.”

SpongeBob takes his father’s arm, this also being something he read about in the magazine and something he felt was the ‘proper’ way to get married.

Squidward just walks alongside them a bit awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do with himself. He should really already have been standing under the arch if they were to do it like this, but being so distracted with everything he completely forgot that SpongeBob wanted his father to give him away.

The last few steps he takes are bigger, so he at least reaches it before they do. SpongeBob letting go of his father’s arm as he takes his place beside Squidward.

Harold turns to Squidward, winking at him, but also talking in a stern voice: “Take care of him.”

Squidward nods. _I’ll never do anything else again._ He takes SpongeBob’s hands and turns to face him. They look into each other’s eyes and SpongeBob leans closer to kiss him.

Now Squidward is the one to remind him of the proper way. “Sponge,” he says, “we haven’t even said I do yet.”

SpongeBob giggling at that: “Oh yes, sorry Squiddy.”

“Before I pronounce you husbands, do you have anything to say to each other?” The brown minister fish tries to look at them at the same time, resulting in him staring at the two cross-eyed. It makes SpongeBob laugh. “Yes, I do.”

He takes a step forward as if he was to give an important speech and clears his throat. “I love everyone. And I’ve always loved everyone. And I always will. I love Sandy, and Gary, and Mr. Krabs,” he stops to point at him, “and Pearl, and Mrs. Puff, and Patrick, and Plankton, and I love the shrimp that comes to the Krusty Krab every Wednesday, and I love the friend that he brings ever—”

His babbling is stopped by a cough from Squidward, this not being exactly what he wanted to hear. SpongeBob starting to stammer a little. “Oh eh, right. But I’ve never loved anyone as much as Squidward, and I know I never will.” He starts to tear up a little as he looks up at the octopus who is also trying his hardest to keep it dry. “Squidward, I never thought you would love me too. But you do. And it makes me happy to make you happy, and I wish I can make you smile every day for the rest of our lives. I love you, Squiddy.” He steps back, wiping the tears from his eyes.

Squidward’s chin starts to quiver as he now opens his mouth to speak, the words coming out all shaky: “Sponge. You are the most annoying person in the entire ocean. Never in my life did I think I would end up here today, with you. But life has it’s funny ways of letting one and one become two, and I wouldn’t want to be here without you today.” _Well, that’s kind of stupid, Squidward. You would be marrying yourself if you were here alone._ “And eh,” he stammers, distracted because of the dumb thing he had just said without thinking about it, “I know I’ve let you down before, and I know I can be the gloomiest octopus in the world. But you showed me what it’s like to feel loved, and I don’t ever want to be loved by anyone other than you. I promise you, Sponge, I will never leave you. Because I love nobody but you.” He sniffles before turning to the minister, impatiently. “Now can we please just kiss?”

The minister laughs sheepishly before speaking the words the two have been waiting to hear: “I now pronounce you Partners for Life. I invite you to seal your promise with a kiss.”

SpongeBob doesn’t let him say that twice and throws himself into Squidward’s arms, making him almost fall down to the grass. They share a big smooch, both blushing deeply, before retrieving their lips and looking at the guests. SpongeBob, still hanging from Squidward’s neck, excitedly calls out; his way to let the attendees know to let the festivities begin. “IIIIII’m ready!”

Sandy comes up to them, congratulating them and giving them both a glass of champagne to celebrate. “Cheers! I’m as happy for you guys as a woodpecker pecking wood!”

SpongeBob throws the entire thing down, not even knowing what it is, but quite liking the taste. Squidward and Sandy don’t even seem to notice, they are talking about how cliché it is to not want to see your significant other before walking down the aisle, something Squidward still doesn’t get.

Some time later Squidward is sitting by himself in the grass, looking at everything that is happening, wanting a bit of quiet time after all the talking he had to do. Most of the guests are gone except Patrick, who of course doesn’t know the appropriate time of leaving. SpongeBob is talking overly enthusiastic to him, probably about jellyfishing or something childish like that. Squidward looks at him, a calm and loving expression resting on his face. _Look how happy he is. The smile on his face, his rosy cheeks, the glass of champagne in his hand, the st---_ He sits up straight, realizing what he just saw. The glass of champagne in his hand… And now not only seeing one glass in his hand, but several standing on the grass beside him. He jumps up and runs towards him, worried about him since he has never seen SpongeBob drink any alcohol, let alone so much of it.

He pushes Patrick out of his way, telling him to go home.

“But I want more food” he whines.

This makes Squidward a little annoyed since the only thing he wants to think about right now is if his husband is doing okay. “There’s a Krabby Patty waiting for you at home. Now leave” he hisses. Patrick not even arguing anymore, just clumsily running off.

Squidward turns his attention to SpongeBob who has been staring at it all with wide open eyes. “Are you okay? How many of those did you have?”

SpongeBob immediately starts to giggle and comes closer to Squidward, whispering in his ear: “Aren’t those drinks really good, Squiddy?”

“SPONGEBOB! How many did you have?”

SpongeBob starts counting on his fingers, quickly losing count however, just repeating the number six over and over. “Oh, not so much. I had one and then another and maybe like seven, or five, or no four, no six… six? Yes six. I think I had six. Six? Did you have one, Squiddy? They are really good, aren’t they?”

He is holding onto Squidward tightly, as if he will fall down the second he lets go. Squidward kneels down so he is looking SpongeBob in the eye worriedly. “Sponge, don’t ever do that again. Those aren’t drinks you take six of.” _You only do that if you’re called Squidward._

SpongeBob now pushing Squidward down, breathing into his neck: “I think I had more than six, Squiddy. Is that bad?” He lets his fingers run over Squidwards chest, slowly starting to unbutton the buttons of his shirt.

Squidward, starting to shudder, stammering, knowing what the sponge is about to do: “SpongeBob, you can’t do that here. We’re in the middle of the Jellyfish Fields!”

SpongeBob puts his finger on his lips, preventing him from interrupting him. The amount of alcohol in his body making him want to do things he normally doesn’t want to do. “I did a bad thing, Squidward.” He speaks slowly, persuasively, turning Squidward on, who is now just letting SpongeBob take off his jacket and run his fingers over his chest.

“I want to do more bad things.” SpongeBob licks his lips, his eyes half closed.

Squidward can feel his whole body starting to tingle, wanting his now husband to give it to him, no matter where they are. At the same time he is feeling a bit guilty that he is turned on by this because SpongeBob doesn’t even know what he is talking about, and would never do this without being drunk.

“SpongeBob, you don’t know what you’re doing. Let’s go home.” He tries to push him away, but SpongeBob is pinning him down, now running his hands all over him, wanting to feel every single part of his body. Squidward lying beneath him wearing nothing but his pants, SpongeBob having thrown every part of his clothing away in his eagerness.

“Kiss me.”

Squidward obeys him, holding onto him tightly, trying not to think about what the sponge will think about this once the morning comes and he is sober again. Just wanting this moment to last forever, wanting SpongeBob to touch him everywhere.

SpongeBob unzipping Squidwards pants, pulling them down while kissing him. His breathing gets heavier as he now sees Squidward completely naked lying in the grass. The alcohol is making him as needy as Squidward usually is, giving him the feeling that there is nothing more important in this world then feeling his lover inside him.

He kisses Squidwards chest all the way down to his legs, making Squidward shiver and try and hold onto something, wanting to grab something firmly, but since they are lying in the Jellyfish Fields the only thing he can hold onto is the green grass, and that isn’t doing much. He arches his back, ready for whatever comes. SpongeBob pushing all his legs away, looking at his siphon for a moment before putting his hand inside.

Squidward is calling out, moaning loudly: “Oh, oh, SpongeBo--- oh, oh, yes Sponge-- YES!”

SpongeBob is biting his lip, breathing heavily, pushing his hand in deeper, enjoying the feeling of Squidward’s squirming body underneath him. “Am I doing a bad thing, Squiddy?”

Squidward barely able to speak, ecstasy filling his entire body: “Yea-yea-yeah-k-keep-g-going.”

SpongeBob pushing in deeper, practically shoving his entire arm inside, Squidward calling out even louder. SpongeBob has never done anything like this to him. He had treated him more often since he told him how to do it the first time, but he was still a bit hesitant, and this was… well… anything _but_.

SpongeBob keeps pushing in deeper, almost reaching his high point already, but not wanting it to come this quickly, wanting to please Squidward some more. He takes out Squidward’s mating arm and starts massaging it, licking it, putting the tip in his mouth, playing with the suction cups. Squidward is at this moment of time unable to do anything but moan loudly and arch his back, completely overtaken with desire.

The sponge then takes off his own pants and does something Squidward would never dare dream about, he takes place on top of it. SpongeBob now also letting out a loud moan as the entire thing fills his oscula in a way he had never felt it before. He starts moving his body up and down quickly, then slower, then quicker again, then slower, Squidward pushing it inside of him even deeper, almost ready to burst.

“Sponge, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, I’m gonna, ahhhh.” The sticky fluid shoots from his mating arm and inside SpongeBob’s body. SpongeBob holding his breath and sucking it all up instead of letting it drip out of his pores like it usually does. Enjoying the feeling of it filling up his entire being.

He keeps riding Squidward’s now very sensitive arm until he too reaches his high point. He wants to suck this up too, not wanting to leave it at the Jellyfish Fields, but isn’t able to do it. The white stuff comes flooding out like a waterfall, there being more of it than Squidward has ever seen. He looks at it surprised before feeling proud that _he_ was the one that made SpongeBob explode like that. _He should drink more often_. He kisses SpongeBob gently, the yellow creature is resting his head on his chest, still panting and trying to catch his breath after all the pleasure he experienced.

“That was… amazing, Sponge.”

SpongeBob, who is still panting and sweating, looks up at him for a second and speaks very slowly and persuasively: “Was I bad?”

Squidward kisses him again, this time on his little yellow nose: “You were very bad. And I liked it.” _However, you won’t remember a thing about it in the morning, SpongeBob._

He starts dressing himself and SpongeBob up again, suddenly very aware of the fact that they are lying in a public space and afraid someone will get here to start fishing for jellyfishes every second and find the place covered in semen and a naked sponge and octopus lying in-between it all. “Let’s go home, Sponge.”

He picks his lover up and lets his body rest against his as he starts walking towards Conch Street. SpongeBob, his eyes now closed and very tired mumbles something as they’re walking. Squidward not understanding him since he is speaking into his shoulder. “What’s that?”

SpongeBob now lifting up his head for a second and starting to smile. “We got married.”

Squidward just laughs, stroking his back lovingly. _At least he remembers that._


	2. But I guess we're different

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just couldn't help but at least MENTION Squilliam once. I so miss him in this story  
> Hope you all enjoy the chapter and I appreciate everyone who's been reading it ♡

SpongeBob starts to stir, waking up. As soon as he tries to sit up he grunts, his head hurting very badly. “Ow, what did I do?”

Squidward, who has been sitting at SpongeBob’s desk for some time working quietly while SpongeBob was still asleep, gets up and walks over, feeling a little guilty and awkward at everything that happened last night. “Well, we uh… you started… talking about… and you had…”

SpongeBob shushing him, blushing, the memories of what happened already starting to come back. He doesn’t want to look Squidward in the eye, feeling very ashamed of what he did. He looks around the room to hopefully talk about something else and let Squidward forget about it all. He spots his desk filled with sheets of paper, a few crumbled-up ones on the floor and the marks from the pencil on Squidward tentacle. “Did you write anything yet?”

Squidward shakes his head, looking downcast: “No, it’s just… nothing’s coming to mind.”

SpongeBob sits up slowly, grabbing hold of Squidward’s tentacle and whispers sweetly into his ear. “I’m sure you’ll write something. The song you wrote for me was _perfect_.”

Squidward retrieves his tentacle, mumbling, not quite so sure himself. He likes composing, of course he does, but with everything going on in his life he has just been too busy to really let his imagination and talent flow. And the orchestra needs a new composition in less than two weeks. He takes place behind the desks again, resting his head on his tentacles, sighing, looking down at the sheets, most of them empty. He is finally going to live his best life, finally people recognize his talent; and he just can’t get a single good note on paper. He thought it was a dream when Squilliam had played his composition and actually gave the credit to him for writing it. Everyone seemed to like it so much that he’d been getting various phone calls to compose something else. _And I’m disappointing all of them. That’s the loser you are, Squidward._

SpongeBob gets up and slowly walks towards him, putting his hands on his shoulders, kissing the back of his head gently. “I’m sure you will do great, honey. How about I make you some breakfast?”

Squidward sighing, still a little gloomy about all of it. “That sounds good.”

But before SpongeBob is even out the door the sponge folds over, suddenly not feeling good at all. He calls out for Squidward, more scared then in pain: “Squidward! What’s happening?!”

Squidward hurries over at the sound of his distressed partner and lifts him up, holding him closely. “That’s just the hang-over, Sponge. How about I make _you_ a nice breakfast?”

The yellow creature just nods lovingly, however feeling very nauseous and honestly not wanting to eat at all. He just wants to crawl back into bed. Instead, he walks down the stairs guided by Squidward and takes place on the couch while Squidward goes into the kitchen.

He puts on an apron and looks behind the doorpost at SpongeBob, who is leaning against the back of the couch, his eyes frowning, and his hands folded over his stomach. “Do you want waffles or pancakes?”

SpongeBob shakes his head, feeling bad about wanting nothing at all. Tears are forming in his eyes as he answers him: “I-I don’t want anything, Squiddy.”

Squidward comes over and takes place beside SpongeBob on the couch, wraps his tentacles around him, squeezes him tightly and kisses him gently on his nose. “I know you feel bad, SpongeBob, but you _have_ to eat. You will feel better when you do, okay?” He kisses him again.

SpongeBob nods slowly, his voice broken as he answers the octopus, still not so sure himself: “I’d like waffles.”

“Good.” Squidward stands up and goes back inside the kitchen to prepare it for him. Not for himself, no, he would never eat such a meal. Especially not with the sprinkles SpongeBob always wants him to put on. Such a display of childish foolishness.

“Here you go.” Squidward puts a plate on SpongeBob’s lap. SpongeBob just looks at it for some time, not moving at all.

“You have to eat it, SpongeBob, please,” he thinks quickly about something that may convince him and smirks, “besides; I have put all my hard work into it. You wouldn’t want to disappoint me…”

SpongeBob picks up the fork and wriggles a piece of the waffle loose. The sight of the thing covered in whipped cream and sprinkles is making him sick. And he doesn’t like it; why does he suddenly not want waffles anymore?

He takes a bite and swallows. “It’s so sweet” he says, not knowing what else to say, and the entire thing in fact being much sweeter than he can remember it being.

Squidward is confused and looks at him with a frown on his face: “I thought you liked sweet? You can always stuff yourself with cotton candy in a way no one else can, or ice-cream or… well basically everything.”

“Yes… I did. But it’s just…” He hesitates, not wanting to hurt Squidward’s feelings by not finishing the meal he prepared especially for him. “It’s just…”

“Just what, Sponge?”

He shakes his head, reluctantly taking another bite and answering him with his mouth full: “It’s just so good. Thank you, honey.”

Squidward brushes some of the dough SpongeBob spit out on him while talking off of his shirt, not trying to look too disgusted. “Good. I’m going back upstairs to write.”

The yellow creature nods, taking another bite to show him he’s eating properly and waves him goodbye.

“SpongeBob!” Squidward hurries to the sounds coming from the bathroom. They don’t seem good at all. These are the sounds he heard whenever he had drunk too much, and it all came out in one go. Was SpongeBob really that far of a goner?

He finds SpongeBob on the floor, looking absolutely miserable. His normally so shimmering and cheerful glow entirely gone, and his spongey skin not the usual bright yellow anymore but a paler shade of it. It’s a bit terrifying to see him like this.

“Squidward…” SpongeBob looks up a little scared, his eyes teary and red.

“You should go back to bed. You’re not feeling good.” He picks him up and takes him in his arms, carrying him back towards his bedroom.

He carefully places him on top of his bed, putting the blankets up to his nose. “Just rest, SpongeBob. It will be better tomorrow.”

“But I can’t go back to sleep. I have so much to do today! I was going to the park with Gary, and I promised Patrick to go jellyfishing, and Mr. Krabs asked me to---”

“SpongeBob. Rest.” He urges him in a strict voice so he knows the kid will do what he says before taking place behind the desk again, rummaging through the pile of paper. _Just relax, Squidward. Inspiration will come to you. You are talented, in fact… you are the best Bikini Bottom has to offer. Relax, Squidward. Relax._

SpongeBob turns around in bed, listening to Squidward’s furious writing, crumbling up of paper, writing, erasing, crumbling up, writing, erasing, sighing, growling, erasing, crumbling up… and eventually falls back to sleep.

The next day Squidward is already sitting behind the register at the Krusty Krab. It’s very unusual for him to be there before SpongeBob, but it has happened a few times before.

“Ah, Mr. Squidward. Where’s yer fry cook husband?”

_Ugh, not in the mood for this today…_

“Why don’t you ask _him_.” He points at the door, where SpongeBob has now appeared. Still looking a bit paler than usual, but at least he’s back on his feet again.

Mr. Krabs comes over, putting his claw behind him and pushing him towards the kitchen, impatient for him to start working. “Good to see ye boy. Get to work.”

Mr. Krabs pushes the sponge inside the kitchen, the door shutting behind him, and quickly goes back towards his office.

“Aye-aye sir, Mr. Krabs, sir.”

Squidward can’t help himself but look through the little window. SpongeBob is slouching towards the grill, his eyes bloodshed. He’s actually not looking better at all, he’s looking worse than Squidward has ever seen him.

He rests his arms on the window. “Are you okay?”

SpongeBob nods, throws three patties up in the air, only one of which actually ends up on the grill. “I’m fine, Squiddy. It’s just… I still feel so bad.”

Squidward actually starts to feel sorry for him now. Why did he ever decide to have alcohol on their wedding in the first place, he should’ve known something like this could happen. But why does the kid take it _this_ bad. Of course, he’s a sponge and absorbs everything… but even then it should’ve been over by now.

“You feel bad all the time?”

SpongeBob first nods, eyes Squidward silently for some time, then shakes his head. “It gets better in the afternoon.

Squidward frowns, not understanding how such a thing could be possible. He’s seen multiple hang-over in his life, but none had ever looked like this one. But then again, he’s never seen a sponge with one before, and maybe they just handle it differently.

“Do you want me to help you?”

SpongeBob’s eyes widen. He has never heard Squidward actually _ask_ to help him with his job. If he was to ever do it he was forced to and didn’t like it at all. “Ye--- Well, you don’t have to honey, I know you don’t like it. And you can’t work on your composition during workhours if you’re frying. Please, it’s okay.” He looks down at his shoes, not wanting Squidward to see he is lying.

Squidward is not convinced however, having known SpongeBob for all these years he has come to know when he’s feeling bad like no other, he just never tried to pay attention to it before they got together. “Are you sure?”

SpongeBob looks up, faking a smile: “Yes, I’m sure.”

He hands Squidward the Krabby Patty he’s been preparing meanwhile. “See?”

Squidward takes it and looks at it silently for a moment, totally dumbstruck. The patty for one is burnt, the buns are switched around and the sea cheese is placed on top of the entire thing.

“Order up!” SpongeBob smiles, ringing the bell and tries to push Squidward away to get him going.

Squidward shakes his head, steps from behind the register and opens the door to the kitchen. “SpongeBob, you’re going to sit there until you feel better.”

He pushes him towards a chair, forcing him to sit down.

SpongeBob struggles, not understanding what Squidward is doing. “Why?”

“There hasn’t even been a customer yet.”

“Oh…”

“Yes oh... Now, just sit there and let me handle the--,” he surpasses a gag, “—the grill. But please tell me as soon as you feel better, because I’m not going to do this all day long.”

That afternoon they walk back home together. SpongeBob had gotten much better after a couple hours and Squidward could finally go back to his own work; or his sleep, depending how you look at it. Squidward is glad to see that SpongeBob is his happy self again as they’re walking back towards Conch Street. SpongeBob jumping all around the place while talking about how Patrick came over to the Krusty Krab today and must’ve eaten fifty Krabby Patties and how he didn’t even pay for it; _he_ did.

Squidward just shakes his head, not understanding how the sponge is always so innocent and doesn’t understand that Patrick just totally used him for his money today.

“And then he just opened his mouth reeeeeal wide and he shoved them all inside in one go! You should’ve seen it!”

“I did.”

“You did?”

“Unfortunately, yes. That pink dimwi--- uh Patrick… kept waking me up.”

“Oh, I guess that’s right… Do you want to go to my house or your house today?”

Squidward starts blushing, knowing SpongeBob now actually understand what that question means, although he is still always screaming it through the streets loudly for everything and everyone to hear, not really understanding what’s so weird about it. _I should tell him about that… Make a note of that._

“We can go to my house if you like?”

SpongeBob jumps around excitedly. “It’s the first time we’re going there since we’re married! Oh, I can’t wait to see it all! Does it look different? Does it, does it, does it?”

“Well… not really.”

The yellow creature stops his jumping for one second, seemingly a little disappointed. “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“But I guess _we’re_ different! Aren’t we, aren’t we, aren’t we?” His drags Squidward along, running towards his house, still expecting there to be something different since _they_ are now different to what they were before.

It doesn’t take long after dinner before the two find themselves embracing in Squidward’s bed. Both of them already naked, just the sheets covering up their bodies. And an embrace turns into a quick kiss, and a quick kiss turns into a long and passionate one, and a long and passionate kiss turns into something more, and before they know it they are mating again. Especially Squidward doesn’t mind doing this every day. He has always been needy, and he can’t do anything about it. At least now he has a partner who is always willing to receive him.

Today is one of those days. One of the days he just feels like there is nothing else to do in this world than what is happening in-between the sheets. The way SpongeBob apparently only feels when he’s drunk a lot of champagne. 

Squidward is pumping his mating arm inside eagerly, wanting his spongey lover to embrace him entirely. SpongeBob meanwhile has other things to think about. He’s done this a couple times before during their mating. He knows how much Squidward loves it, and he likes it himself, but he also has other things to think about; his mind never standing still for one second.

“What do you want to eat today? I can make Swedish Barnacle Balls. I know you like them best!”

Squidward, still pumping, stops for a moment, a little annoyed: “I don’t want to think about Barnacle Balls right now.”

SpongeBob doesn’t even seem to hear him. “And I should also get something for Gar—oh—oh—oh that feels good!” He moans loudly, arches his back in delight and grabs hold of the pillow, before going back to his thinking about groceries. “Do you think Gary will like Barnacle Balls too?”

Squidward, now getting agitated, without thinking about it, not even knowing where it came from, calls out to him: “SpongeBob! Either shut your mouth or talk dirty to me!”

SpongeBob looks at him confused, not knowing what exactly Squidward means. “Do you mean like… nose picking, mud, oh, oh, and the green slime on the walls at the Krusty Krab, and---

_Don’t ever ask him that again_

When Squidward doesn’t respond and SpongeBob has named all the dirty things he can think about he turns to him again. “Like that?”

 _I’m not going to be able to get rid of him that easily, am I?_ He growls, very annoyed at having to deal with this while he’s enjoying himself, very annoyed with himself too for having said it in the first place.

“Leave it, SpongeBob. Just let me finish here and you can go back to your shopping list, okay?”

SpongeBob doesn’t take that as an answer however and starts pushing him to tell him, wanting to know what he means so he can do it right the next time Squidward asks him: “No, no, Squiddy! What do you mean?”

The octopus sighs loudly and irritated, knowing he has to give in and explain it to him or he will never stop talking about it: “I mean… just say something you want me to do, but don’t dare to say out loud, okay?!”

“Oh right! I want you to wash my windows, I want you to dress up as a knight so I can be your princess, and I want you to go on a bike ride with me around town, and I want you to—

Squidward facepalms his head and growls, just wanting the sponge’s babbling to be over with. “NO I MEAN ABOUT MATING! But never mind!”

“OOOH I get it!” He adds in a persuasive voice, a bit questioningly however: “I… uh want to lick your siphon?”

An electric pulse goes through Squidward’s entire body. _Well, that’ll do the trick_

He moans, pushing in deeper, getting in the mood and wanting SpongeBob to say more and more. This all being an entirely new sensation. Maybe his mindless talking turned out to be a good thing after all. “Go on, Sponge, go on!”

SpongeBob innocently starts counting his fingers, summing up all the things he ever thought about. Quite liking the fact that the things he never dared to say out loud, and never even thought he was allowed to think, are turning Squidward on. “I want to play with your suctions cups, you can put two tentacles inside, I want to do it at the cinema when we’re watching a romantic comedy, I want to…”

_Dear Neptune… Who knew Sponge had all these fantasies?_

The overwhelming sensation is almost getting too much to bear; SpongeBob still summing up things. Squidward grabs him, pushing him closer so his entire oscula is around his mating arm. It’s such a nice embrace, it’s a feeling he never wants to get rid of. He pumps harder and harder, SpongeBob grabbing the back of his head, now also moaning and absolutely not thinking about groceries anymore. Squidward can feel himself reach his high point and with one final pump he lets it all go.

SpongeBob holds his nose and makes a sucking noise. However just like last time it doesn’t work anymore. He tries again, but the white stuff just comes oozing out of his pores and onto the bed.

Squidward retrieves his mating arm and looks at it. It used to turn him on when he saw this, but having seen it so often has changed that a bit and now he prefers for the creature to suck it all up. He lies down next to SpongeBob. “I thought you stopped doing that.”

SpongeBob feels a little sad and guilty. “I-I did. B-but I can’t do it anymore.”

“What do you mean you can’t do it?” Squidward looks up again, resting his head on his elbow.

“I try and I try and I try.” He tries it again to show Squidward he really does try. “But I can’t do it. I feel all full inside, Squiddy. I’m sorry.”

Squidward now sits up straight, something started to brew inside his mind; all the symptoms adding up. “What did you say?”

“I’m sorry?”

“No, no, the other thing.”

“I feel all full inside?”

Squidward now shaking his head vigorously, not understanding how this could ever happen, but even this stupid and insane thought being the only thing he can think of is the answer to everything that SpongeBob has been feeling. _But it can’t be… It simply CAN’T be! How can a… and we’re two… How is that even possible… It can’t be… But it somehow must’ve… Can it be? Is he…_

He feels nervous and very weird saying it out loud, but he wonders if the sponge knows more about this, if he can explain to him what is really happening. After all; a sponge would know it’s own species best, wouldn’t he? Plus, how many times has SpongeBob asked him a stupid question? “SpongeBob…,” he stops, trying to find the courage to say these insane words out loud, “SpongeBob, are you… are you…”

SpongeBob’s eyes widen, realizing what Squidward is about to say, also adding up the symptoms and knowing it indeed can be true what Squidward wants to say. His heart is beating in his chest as he finishes Squidward’s thought: “Pregnant?”


	3. Was this what you imagined it to be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was fun to write, and gosh Squidward…! Well… you’ll see what he did ;)  
> Also, why SpongeBob called Gary silly is up to your own interpretation, I change mine every time I read it. It’s funny to think of what Gary could’ve said there. Hopefully you all think of something funny as well. Hope you liked the chapter! I honestly can’t wait for the next one because then we will meet their little one ♡  
> \- I have NO knowledge of how sponges work, so excuse this probably very bad explanation he gives Squidward -

Squidward immediately gets up from the bed, shaking his head around vigorously. “This can’t be true! SpongeBob, how can that even be possible! It’s not… and we’re… HOW?!” He shouts at him, grabbing hold of his arms firmly, shaking him around, just not believing what has been said.

SpongeBob timidly puts up his finger as if he was to answer a question from a teacher. “I-I read about it in a b-book.”

“A book?! What book?!”

Squidward is pacing around the room in distress, not even noticing he still isn’t wearing anything.

“I have a-a book about s-sponges in my library, Squiddy.” SpongeBob starts to get a little panicked himself seeing Squidward so panickily walking across the room. “And it said that---”

He isn’t even able to finish his sentence, Squidward already out the door, heading towards SpongeBob’s library. _How can this be? This isn’t even possible! The kid’s just talking, he doesn’t know a thing about… sponges…_ He throws his hands up in the air. _Oh of course he knows what he’s talking about! But, but, how?_

SpongeBob is running after him, the sheets from his bed wrapped around him, dragging behind him like a long cape. “Honey, let me get it for you!”

“I don’t need your help, SpongeBob!” He opens the door, and is overwhelmed by the number of books there actually is, never properly having seen is before. “Well, well… maybe I do.” He sighs and sits down on the ground, waiting for SpongeBob to find it.

SpongeBob is climbing up the ladder a little clumsily, reaching for the book with one hand while holding the sheets with his other, balancing himself with his feet. His tongue sticking out of his mouth a little as he almost reaches it… reaches it…. reaches it---

“SpongeBob!”

Squidward is quick to notice the sponge wobbling and losing his balance. He tumbles down the ladder and right into Squidward’s arms.

“I got it!” SpongeBob gets back to his feet as if nothing had happened and opens the book. Squidward just rolling his eyes, his heart still beating quickly at what he just witnessed. He takes place behind SpongeBob and takes half of the sheets to wrap them around himself.

“Look, honey. It says it right here; Sponges are hermaphr… hempha… heaphodi…”

“HERMAPHRODITIC?!”

“Yes, that’s it!” SpongeBob looks up happily because Squidward knew what he meant, but his smile quickly disappears when he sees the frown on the cephalopods face. Maybe he doesn’t know what it means? He should explain it to him. “It means that we can be—”

“I know what it means SpongeBob!” _If I still had my hair I’d pull it all out right now…_ “So you just decided it would be nice to start producing eggs instead of… well you know…! Why in the barnacles did you do that?!”

SpongeBob’s chin starting to quiver, both not understanding why Squidward is so mad at him and how it happened. He didn’t remember doing that. Wait….. He didn’t remember doing it. Didn’t. Remember.

“Oh Squidward!” He starts to sob with his head in his hands, looking awfully sad under his purple sheets and the book loosely laying in his lap.

Squidward tries to forget about his confusion for a second and comfort his lover, although it’s hard. He swallows hard. “What is it, Sponge?”

“I don’t remember doing it, so- so- so it must have been when I… when I… at our wedding and I…”

 _Okay forget about my earlier statement; he shouldn’t drink EVER again._ “You mean when you were all over me, and you just--- OH DEAR NEPTUNE! If you hadn’t sucked it up none of this wouldn’t have happened! SpongeBob! Ugh!” He walks away, not knowing what to say. Annoyed and angry at SpongeBob for doing this, not even thinking about the fact that SpongeBob never meant for it to happen.

He slams the door shut, stomps up the stairs and lies down in SpongeBob’s bed again. Not that it’s very comfortable because SpongeBob still has the sheets with him. Squidward crosses his tentacles and stares at the dark nothingness in front of him. “Why did I ever decide to mate with the weirdest creature in the sea? I could’ve expected something like this to happen. After all; with SpongeBob you never know!” Suddenly it all actually sinks in and his eyes widen. “Holy cephalopod! SpongeBob is pregnant!”

SpongeBob, now standing in the doorway, looks at the ground shyly, feeling guilty at what he did. “I’m sorry, honey.”

Squidward looks over at the sponge, who suddenly looks incredibly small and fragile. “Well… You’ll just have to make the most of it.”

“Me? N-not us? Together?” SpongeBob looks at him surprised.

 _Where did that come from?_ “N-no I mean us, together.” He holds out his tentacles so the creature can wriggle himself in-between them.

SpongeBob warily walks over, suddenly afraid of everything; afraid he will do something wrong and the baby will be hurt. He cuddles up close to Squidward, who wraps all his tentacles around him, wanting to protect him from all the hurt in the world.

“Sponge?”

SpongeBob hums a soft, sad hum as a response.

“How long until the… the thing… comes?”

“The book says two weeks.”

Squidward pushing SpongeBob away in shock, grabbing at his arms: “TWO WEEKS?!”

“Yes…? I think it said two weeks, I mean I can check again if you don’t think that’s right.”

Squidward loosens his grip on SpongeBob’s arms again, realizing what he just did. “No, no, that’s okay.” He takes a deep breath. _Two weeks. Two weeks. Okay. That’s fine. Isn’t it?_ “Let’s get some sleep, okay Sponge?”

SpongeBob just nodding, already very tired. Wriggling himself in-between Squidward’s tentacles as he finds a good spot to spend the night. “Good night, honey.”

“Yeah… good night, SpongeBob.”

Squidward however not able to fall asleep just yet. _Two weeks… Why are sponges so weird? Why can nothing in SpongeBob’s life ever be normal?!_ His eyes widen, his eyebrow furrows, suddenly remembering something important. _Oh no, oh no no no, two weeks – the composition needs to be done in less than two weeks! I don’t have time for all this! Couldn’t he have waited to suddenly decide it’d be fun to play a little game of pretend?!_

“Squidward? Squiddy? Squidward? Squiddy? Squiddy? Squidward? Squiddy? Squiiiiiidwaaaaard?”

“What SpongeBob?!”

“Do you want to go to my house and watch a movie together? I have rented two of your favorites! So you can pick which one we will watch tonight!”

Squidward sighs, tired from working an entire day while also trying to finish his composition. This still not working at all; his mind too preoccupied with everything else. “No.”

“Oh…,” SpongeBob says disappointedly, “o-okay.”

 _That might have come out a bit too harsh…_ “SpongeBob… I’m just tired and I need to think.”

“To think?” SpongeBob looks at him confused.

“Think about – it all” He points at SpongeBob’s stomach, which makes the creature giggle shyly and a little proud that he will be a father together with Squidward soon.

“SpongeBob, that’s not a thing to giggle about. This is serious!”

The yellow sponge hardly even noticing what Squidward said, just imagining all the fun things he will be able to do with a little baby of his own. “Oh Squiddy, it will be so great! We can go jellyfishing together, and I can make hot cocoa, and we can all watch movies together, and I can teach the baby to blow bubbles, and I can make Krabby Patties, and we can play together! Oh, honey, it’s all so exciting!” He jumps up and down, kissing Squidward on his head each time he jumps up and reaches it.

“Calm down, Sponge, calm down! You’re making the thing nauseous with all your jumping!”

“What _thing_ are ye talkin’ about, Mr. Squidward?”

“M…M…Mr. Krabs…” Squidwards stammers.

Mr. Krabs leans forward a bit, his eyes urging Squidward to tell him what he was talking about, knowing something is up that might cost him money; his nose always picking up on things like that: “What thing Mr. Squidward?”

“Oh, our baby, Mr. Krabs, sir!” SpongeBob cheers excitedly.

Both Mr. Krabs and Squidward are almost tumbling over in shock at the sponge just simply shouting it out like that.

“A baby?!” Mr. Krabs’ eyes are twice their normal size when he looks at SpongeBob. He examines his entire body, checking if there is anything to see, a little weirded out at this thought. “How the barnacles is that even possible, lad?”

“Well, when Squidward and I were mating at our wedding, and then Squidward came and I sucked it all up and then Squidward—”

Squidward’s entire face now red, embarrassed over his head with SpongeBob putting their love life out on the streets like that, especially _this_ moment, quickly talking through him: “Uh… well, you see Mr. Krabs… I don’t know how it happened but… but… SpongeBob is just weird—”

“Weird?” SpongeBob frowns at him.

“—And somehow it just… happened.”

“Well, well, I see.” He stops for a moment, taking all this information in, trying to forget about what happened at the wedding. He looks at SpongeBob again, there’s not much to see as the sponge is still his normal self. “As long as you can still make me patties yer free to do what you want. But yer not getting time off.” He eyes SpongeBob intensely.

“Right, Mr. Krabs!” SpongeBob puts his hand up to his head to salute him.

Mr. Krabs’ eyes glowing again now, glad that his fry cook always agrees to his devious terms of working at the Krusty Krab. And even Squidward is too tired to argue about the inhumane circumstances at the moment. He walks away grinning, humming a song happily, throwing a penny up in the air and catching it again.

“Well, I’m going home now. See you tomorrow, Sponge.” Squidward takes the hat off and steps from behind the cash register.

“Y-yeah, see you tomorrow, honey.” He looks downheartedly at Squidward leaving, rubbing his hands over his stomach, knowing there is at least _one_ person that will keep him company tonight.

“Aargh, that stupid rich jerk! If he had never given them my name none of this would’ve happened!” Squidward slams on his desk, wipes all the failed compositions from it angrily, and rests his head on his tentacle. _What ever happened to wanting to live your dream? Was this what you imagined it to be, Squidward?_ “Yes, yes, yes, it is!” He reminds himself, hitting his own head to try and slam that thought in there.

His entire house by now is covered in white sheets; on his bed, on his table, on his floor, on the counters, he even found one in the shower last night.

“Why is it not working?! Why is it not working?!” He gets annoyed with himself, shoving his chair away, standing up and walking towards his window. It had been going on like this for some days now. He didn’t have time to visit SpongeBob anymore, had been slacking off on his work even more than usual, he had been writing nonstop, but even then his mind kept going back and forth about everything that’s going on. How can he focus on doing what he really wants when everybody keeps interrupting him with insane things?

He opens his window and takes in some fresh water, letting his whole body soak up the smell and feeling of it. Conch Street is silent, quiet and calm; something that hardly ever happens when living in-between SpongeBob and his idiot best friend. _Quite enjoyable._ Squidward is about to close his window again when he notices a soft sobbing coming from the pineapple next door. He feels sorry for leaving him alone at a time like this; but he just _needs_ to finish his composition. That is more important. Isn’t it? If he wants to be famous and for everyone to finally see what a talented octopus he is; yes it is. And honestly, he is scared about it all, scared he won’t be a good father, scared at what people will think, scared at the thought there will be a little one in about a week. He closes his window, sighs, and grabs another sheet of paper. He has other things to focus on at the moment.

\---

“Why-why-why doesn’t he love me anym-m-moooore?” SpongeBob is lying on his couch sobbing, it has been going on like this every night since he asked Squidward to go home with him and he said no. Was Squidward angry at him for getting pregnant, was he disappointed, or sad? If only he would talk, but he didn’t; Squidward never talks.

He rubs over his stomach, which is now actually starting to get a bigger. It looks a little weird in his usual outfit, so he prefers to walk around the house wearing an oversized shirt, or his pajamas. That is… if he feels like walking at all, since most of his days are spent crying and being scared; feeling all alone.

“I-I know Squiddy is busy, little one, I-I know, and I need to let h-him live his dream, but I just w-wish he w-would come by,” he bends over the way only a sponge could do and kisses his own stomach, “so he could see how b-big you’re getting.”

“Meow.”

“Oh, I was just talking to our little one, Gary!” SpongeBob giggles, cheering up a bit at the thought of actually being able to talk to their baby in not that long.

“Meow?”

“Of course I have thought about that, Gare-bear!”

“Meow…” Gary looks at him with his eyes half closed, not believing his owner at all.

“Well…. a little…”

“Meow!”

SpongeBob gets to his feet: “Okay, okay! I’ll go get it right now! You’re right Gary.”

Some time later he comes back, his arms full of baby stuff; clothes, a blanket, toys, a little bonnet, a rattle, and everything else he could find at the store.

“Look Gary! I bought everything they had in stock!” He dumps it all on the floor, Gary sliding over, looking at it all.

“Meow?”

That makes SpongeBob laugh: “No, silly!”

“Meow, meow, meow?”

“No, we don’t know yet. Would you like a little brother or sister, Gary?”

Gary just growls a little and hastily glides away, actually not wanting another critter to disturb him at all, especially since this one won’t be at work all day when he’s watching his favorite shows on television.

SpongeBob starts talking to himself and the little one again. “I don’t mind either one. I don’t know what Squiddy wants, maybe he likes a boy better… or a girl… Why don’t I go and ask him?” He stands up excitedly and walks to the door. But before he can open it he turns back around. “Squidward needs time to write.”

He sits back down on the floor, the pile of baby stuff suddenly not cheering him up anymore. “I just wish I could help him, and I just wish…” He swallows, thinking this is a very selfish thought of him. “I just wish he would be here with me instead of writing.

Suddenly his chin starts to quiver again, tears dripping down his cheeks: “I m-miss him so m-muuuuch! I c-can’t do this al-alone!”

He cries for some time, feeling miserable about being left to do this on his own, having no one to turn to, no one to understand what he is going through.

“Meow?”

SpongeBob sniffles and wipes his tears away. “He’ll come back, Gare-bear. He always does. He just needs time.”

“Meow…” Gary rolls his eyes but glides over to his owner, huddling up against him. Understanding that he needs someone to be with him now, even if it’s just a snail.

“A-and I will do m-my best for our little one. I-I will.” He stays quiet for some time, thinking about the horrible idea of having to do this all alone. Then he starts crying louder than he’s ever done: “B-but I want my S-Squiddy!”

\----

“What do you mean I can’t have more time? I need it! Don’t you know who I am?” Squidward is shouting furiously at the person on the other side of his shellphone.

“Yeah, well I need it!”

“I just need it!”

“Don’t hang up on me! I’m warning you!”

The phone goes silent on the other side, Squidward now even more furious than before, shouting at the nobody that isn’t listening to him: “WELL, I HAVE MORE TALENT IN THE TIP OF MY TENTACLE THAN YOU HAVE IN YOUR ENTIRE BODY!”

He smashes the phone down and huffs at it as if the phone was the one who did this to him.

He walks around the room is circles, panicking and furious and scared all at once, mumbling to himself: “Who do they think they are? Just because they’re the oh so famous orchestra they think they can tell _me_ what to do? Oh of course they can… they hired me… I _have_ to do what they tell me.”

 _You just need to relax Squidward, you’ve been so tensed up this entire week. Just take the evening to relax and not think about anything._ “Hey, that’s actually not a bad idea.”

He sits down on his couch and turns on the television, ready for a relaxing evening all to himself. Something he hasn’t done in ages. He zaps through the channels, but there isn’t really anything good on at the moment. _So much for that idea._ He looks around the room to see if there is anything else he can do, only to be reminded of what he actually has to do when he sees all the crumpled up papers on his floor. _I can’t relax! I have to finish this!_ “No, Squidward, you don’t. Show them who’s the one in charge here. Without you, they’d be nowhere!” He grins at that thought, feeling pleased with himself. He puts his tentacles down on the coffee table and looks at the stupid show that’s playing right now. It doesn’t take long however before his mind goes back to the composition he still needs to write. Just feeling like he is procrastinating. _I can’t relax until it’s done, what am I thinking?_

He gets back up, walks towards the table, changes his mind again and turns around. _No, no, no, Squidward! You NEED to relax! You’ve earned it._

He decides to put on his bathrobe. Maybe if he’s wearing something comfortable and warm and cozy his mind will magically be relaxed too.

For some time it actually works; watching the simpletons on television with a nice cup of tea in his tentacle, nipping at it every once in a while.

But as soon as the show is over and another one starts he can’t help his emotions from taking over again. He is just too scared at failing everything and everyone; and he doesn’t want to be called a loser again. Not by SpongeBob, not by the orchestra, not by _anyone_.

“Should I?” He looks at the cabinets. “No, I shouldn’t.” He looks away again. “But it might help me.” He looks back at it. “No, no, no, I need to stop that. It’s not healthy. Look what it did to Sponge—”

Before he can even finish that sentence he is over at the cabinets, his tentacles eagerly twisting open the cork on the bottle. Not wanting to think about what is going on with SpongeBob at the moment, not wanting to think about the composition, not wanting to think about the Krusty Krab, not wanting to think about _any_ of the stuff that is keeping his mind from what he really wants to do right now; relax. He puts the bottle to his lips and tips the whole thing down in one go. A thing he learned to do after Squilliam had left him in college. It makes you forget about everything quick and easy.

_Well, it used to do that…_

Squidward is draped upon his couch, still feeling absolutely miserable after having drunken two bottles in one go. He can’t even remember the last time alcohol didn’t work. But this time he just can’t keep his emotions and mind under control, and he doesn’t like it. He sighs, just wanting to get rid of all these bad thoughts already. _If drinking doesn’t work, what in the barnacles will?!_

This actually gives him an idea. The only other thing he could always rely on when he wanted to quickly feel better again. Something that gives you a positive mood the minute you start doing it. “No, no, I couldn’t.” He shakes the thought away, embarrassed to even think about it since he now has SpongeBob to fulfil those needs. “But SpongeBob is probably asleep. And he’s pregnant. I can’t do that. It will probably only hurt him.”

 _So I might just…_ He opens up his legs, spreading them across the couch. _No, it’s too weird. What if someone walks in on me like this?_

He sits back up, ashamed at the thought of what he just tried to do. Then suddenly his whole body starts to tingle, telling him he’s ready for it. He mumbles, feeling weirded out at this all, but liking this feeling too much to not give in to it. He decides to take it upstairs so he will at least have a little more time to cover himself up if someone decides to come barging in. On his way upstairs he checks the doorknob to see if it is locked. It is. But that hasn’t stopped SpongeBob and Patrick before, so you never know.

He slips out of his bathrobe and sits down on his bed, spreading his legs again.

He doesn’t remember it ever feeling this weird to please himself. He has done it so often. But that was before---

“SpongeBob” his name comes out in a loud moan when he thinks about him, remembers his unique spongey texture, imagining it right now, wanting it right now, _needing_ it right now. He starts breathing heavily, his chest heaving, his imagination never having been this vivid before. He lets his suction cups explore his entire body. Walking them up each of his tentacles, putting them in his mouth, sucking on them, then walking them across his body again. His entire body now screaming for more and more. His moving around becomes more eager, filled with passion and neediness. He bites his lip while he traces the rims of his siphon with the tip of his tentacle. “Oh Sponge, oh Sponge, oh Sponge, I need you!” he breathes out.

He can’t quite reach that far down, but he desperately wants for something to fill him up. He looks around the room desperately. He doesn’t even care what it is at this moment. Anything could do the job. _The lamp? A book? The alarm clock? The glass of water!_ He grabs it, the water spilling everywhere, and shoves it in before he can think it through. He shrieks a little at the touch since it’s very cold and a lot bigger than anything he’s ever had inside there. But it’s not necessarily a bad feeling. He pushes it in even deeper, liking the feeling very much. He gets so eager in his movement that he now needs to be careful not to touch his ink sac and soak his entire bed in ink. His moaning comes out more like growling, calling out for SpongeBob loudly: “SPONGEBOB! Oh yes, yes! More, more!”

It doesn’t take long before he reaches his high point with a loud growl, the glass shooting out at the pulsations, shattering across the room. Squidward is immediately awoken from his happy place, looking at it in shock. Only then realizing what he did. “Oh no… oh no, no, no…” He feels guilty and dirty for doing it to himself instead of having SpongeBob do it, as if the sponge isn’t good enough for him anymore. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, so sorry!” He puts his head into his pillow and starts crying loudly, letting the fabric soak up all his tears. His crying only half overpowering the other crying that is going on at Conch Street; the one coming from the pineapple next door.


	4. Popping corn and popping babies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally we are able to meet the one this fanfic is all about! And the way -it- (no spoilers there yet 😉) looks is 100% based on Sandersedge's fanfics, because I just couldn't see this baby looking any different. I did some sketches of it all the way back in October, so if you want to see you can always click this link: https://www.instagram.com/p/CJvwn2NlZ6U/ (I should probably make a proper drawing soon, because these suck, I didn't even have the right skintone for Squidward at that time (now I do) so I might update in some time)  
> Otherwise, enjoy this new chapter, and I hope you all love the little kid as much as I do! 💕

SpongeBob and Patrick are sitting on the couch at SpongeBob’s pineapple home, preparing themselves for a Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy marathon that is on television all day today.

SpongeBob of course has brought all these different kinds of snacks they are surrounded by, but the popcorn is for sure their favorite. Patrick has already eaten half of it before SpongeBob has even turned on the television.

“Are you ready?!” SpongeBob bounces up and down excitedly, the remote still in his hands.

Patrick looks at him sheepishly, speaking with his mouth full of popcorn: “Mreadmy fmor whmat?” 

SpongeBob laughs, poking him in his chubby pink arm. “The Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy marathon, silly!”

“Oh yeah… Yeah!” Now Patrick is the one who is bouncing up and down, spilling the popcorn all over the couch.

The voice on the television startles the two and they quickly look up to see Mermaid Man diving into action. “Mermaid Man: fleet and forceful. With the ability to assemble and charge the creatures of the deep.”

SpongeBob and Patrick hold hands excitedly as they speak the next sentence along with Mermaid Man: “By the power of Neptune!”

As the show continues Patrick starts scooping armfuls of popcorn from the bowl. He uses his arms as a slide to have all the white little pieces roll into his mouth. SpongeBob is taking one at a time, rubbing over his stomach while he eats: “Do you like popcorn, little one?”

Patrick nods, keeping his eyes glued to the television. “Yeah, I do, SpongeBob. Can you get some more?”

“Patrick, I wasn’t talking to _you_ , I was talking to the baby!” SpongeBob giggles and bends over to kiss his stomach, which is now quite big and makes him look a little weird with it sticking out of his square shape. “But I can get you some more popcorn. Just wait until the advertisements, okay?”

“No, no, no! I want it now!” Patrick punches the couch, throwing a tantrum. “I am hungry SpongeBob, I want popcorn now!”

“Alright, alright buddy, I’ll be right back.”

He sighs and gets up from the couch, not wanting to disappoint his best friend, but not wanting to miss a part of the show either. He pricks up his ears to listen to every little sound coming from the television, but most of it is overpowered by Patrick’s laughing.

He takes a bag of popcorn and shakes the content into one of his pans, putting the lid on and taking place on the counter next to it to wait until it is finished. His thoughts can’t help but go to Squidward all the time, it’s just as if he can’t get his mind to stop.

SpongeBob and Squidward haven’t seen each other in days, well, that is if you don’t count the days at work, but Squidward was mostly furiously jotting down things for his composition before throwing them away again. SpongeBob himself was quite busy keeping track of all the orders – not that there were more than usual, but it just took him a little longer to make and deliver them, especially in the mornings. SpongeBob was both a bit angry and sad at Squidward not paying any attention to him and leaving him all alone, but more so concerned about him because he didn’t seem to be sleeping at all, and he looked tense all the time.

SpongeBob is swinging his feet back and forth nervously, listening to the popping sounds inside the pan, rubbing over his stomach with a concerned look on his face. _What if Squidward doesn’t want to be a dad? What if he doesn’t love me anymore? I-I can’t do this without him…_ He wipes away a quick, single teardrop that is dripping down his cheek.

The popping sounds have stopped by now. SpongeBob takes the pan from the stove and turns it over inside a bowl, some of the white pieces dropping on the floor as he does it. He looks at it and shrugs. “That’s for later.”

“SpongeBob! There’s no more popcorn!” Patrick calls from the living room, followed by a smashing sound coming from the television and a loud cheering from Patrick.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” SpongeBob hurries towards the couch and takes place besides his best friend again, taking a little piece of popcorn out of the bowl, his eyes glued on the show however, too caught up in the excitement to even think about putting it in his mouth, just holding it in the air a bit awkwardly.

Patrick doesn’t notice it; he just picks up the bowl and puts it to his mouth to let all the popcorn tumble inside of it.

“Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, unite!” The sound of the clenching of the two rings is filling the room. Patrick is drooling looking at this scene, wishing he would have one of those rings – preferably if it’s one of those delicious donuts again that SpongeBob likes to use.

SpongeBob’s eyes are still locked on the television, watching Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy’s every move, even though he already knows all the episodes by heart. Suddenly he feels a little something moving inside his stomach. He crushes the piece of popcorn in-between his fingers in pain. “That feels funny, little one, what are you doing?” He looks at his stomach a bit concerned however, hoping the baby is doing okay.

The same feeling goes through his entire body once again, even more painful this time, which makes him grab hold of Patrick’s hand and squeezes it hard. “What _ARE_ you doing?!” He looks down at his stomach, feeling all weird and woozy and in much pain. It doesn’t feel like the baby’s occasional kicking at all; this hurts, hurts _very_ bad.

“Shhh, SpongeBob, I’m trying to watch!” Patrick retrieves his hand and places it down beside him. Quickly lifting it up again however. He looks at the couch, which is now all wet, and so is the floor – and so is his best buddy. He laughs but moves away from him: “SpongeBob! You peed your pants! Ha ha!”

SpongeBob looks down, not remembering that he did. He looks at Patrick a bit ashamed, pushing his legs together. “I-I…” Suddenly the pain kicks in again and he screams out loud, genuinely panicked and scared: “PATRICK, WHAT’S HAPPENING?!”

He grabs hold of his friend by his neck, pulling him to his face while he screams at him, not knowing what to do with himself.

Patrick shrugs, just wanting him to be quiet so he can watch the marathon: “I don’t know, ask Squidward.”

SpongeBob loosens his grip on him, his eyes starting to tear up. “I-I can’t ask Squiddy… He’s busy…”

He sits back down, placing his hands in his lap, trying to calm himself down. _It’s nothing SpongeBob. The little one is just excited for Mermaid Man too!_ He giggles, but his giggle quicky turns into a scream when a wave of pain flushes over him again. He grabs hold of Patrick and pulls him closer, distressed: “AM I GOING TO DIE?!”

Patrick tries to look behind SpongeBob’s face at the television, shoving him away. “I dunno. Ask someone with more _experience_ in dying or something…” He laughs when he sees Barnacle Boy slipping on a banana peel and falling down, but taking Man Ray with him. “Go Barnacle Boy, go!”

SpongeBob wobbles to his shellphone, dialing Mr. Krabs’ number with shaking fingers. He goes over to the kitchen to call, dragging the wire along, knowing that Patrick will just be mad at him for talking through his show if he makes this call in the living room. As soon as he hears Mr. Krabs’ voice on the other end he starts to cry. “M-M-Mr. Krabs, I’m going to d-die!”

“And he PEED his pants!” Patrick calls from the other room, laughing.

SpongeBob lets his face sink into his hand, afraid and ashamed, crying loudly, his voice tiny and barely audible as he speaks however. “What’s happening, Mr. Krabs?”

“Well…” The crab on the other side is quiet for some time, wanting to help, but not quite knowing what to do. “What’re ye feelin’ me boy?”

SpongeBob sniffles: “I-I was watching Mermaid Man… and then the little one did a funny thing that hurt me and then I---”

Mr. Krabs interrupts him, adding up all the little details. “Go to the hospital, lad, yer havin’ yer baby.”

SpongeBob’s eyes widen. “My baby?! I-I can’t have my baby yet! The two weeks aren’t over! I have…” He counts his fingers. “Three more days left!”

“Go to the hospital, SpongeBob. Yer fine.”

SpongeBob’s lip starts to quiver once more as he hangs up the phone. He runs to Patrick in a panic: “Patrick! I’m having my baby!”

“Oh, that’s great,” he answers him, not even paying attention, “will you get me some more popcorn?”

“I-I can’t Patrick. It’s time for the little one to come out.” He swallows hard before adding the next words, a bit more scared. “I… I guess.”

SpongeBob enters the hospital while rubbing over his stomach with his hands. Mr. Krabs was so kind to call them beforehand that SpongeBob was coming, knowing how terrified the kid must be. Plus – waning the whole thing to be over with quickly so SpongeBob could get back to work as soon as possible.

A purple fish doctor comes up to SpongeBob when he enters the hallway. “Ah, there you are. I was told you would be coming. How are you feeling?”

“P-pain” SpongeBob breathes out.

The doctor laughs a little, trying to comfort him. “It is going to be okay. I’m here with you.” He places his hand behind SpongeBob and guides him towards a room, sitting him down on the bed. “Who’s going to be with you, Mr. SquarePants?”

SpongeBob looks down at his shoes, feeling a lump in his throat when he hears this question: “Oh… nobody I guess.”

“Nobody?” A frown appears on the doctor’s face. “You don’t have a…” He pauses, not quite knowing what kind of partner this pregnant male sponge would actually have. “A-a partner?”

“Well, yes, I do. But-but he’s… he’s busy.”

“Busy? Well, Mr. SquarePants, this is not a time to be busy. Do you want me to call him? He should be here with you right now, however busy he is.”

 _Oh, but I can’t have Squiddy distracted right now! He needs to finish that composition!_ “No, no, that’s okay. I-I can do it” he answers him, looking away from him however to not show that he is blushing and very much telling lies.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to call him?”

“Yes, I’m su-----” The pain kicks in once more, frightening SpongeBob. “NO, NO, PLEASE CALL HIM!”

The doctor squeezes SpongeBob’s hand a little, assuring him that all will be okay. “Alright. I’ll be right back with you, okay?”

SpongeBob nods, holding onto the sheets tightly, tears dripping down his cheeks. Tears of both pain and fright, tears of not knowing what to do and afraid of being alone.

\-----

“Right this way, Mr. Tentacles. Mr. SquarePants is waiting for you.”

“Alright, alright, I can walk myself!” He huffs annoyed at the doctor guiding him with his hand. He walks towards the door of the room where SpongeBob is lying on a bed. He gulps when he looks at him through the window; he looks so fragile and scared.

The purple fish opens the door for him, Squidward just standing in the doorway a little awkwardly for a moment when the fish walks past him and goes over to SpongeBob.

It takes a moment for SpongeBob to realize Squidward is finally here, but when he realizes his eyes glisten seeing him again: “Squidward!” He looks at him relieved, then angry because he left him alone, then happy because he came back, and then the pain kicks in and he calls out: “AARHHH DEAR NEPTUNE! SQUIDWARD! IT HURTS!”

Squidward hurries over when he sees SpongeBob squirming in pain. He grabs hold of his hand a little awkwardly, feeling bad that he left him all alone for so long. “Well, what did you expect?”

“AHHHH I DON’T KNOW!” He screams and breathes heavily before the pain gets a little more bearable. He puffs: “Like-like budding I guess…”

Squidward smiles at him lovingly and strokes his little yellow hand, comforting him: “Well, it’s not like budding, Sponge. It’s going to hurt. But you’ll get through it.”

Another contraction comes up and SpongeBob crushes Squidward’s tentacle in his hand. “AAHH, SQUIDWARD!”

Squidward calls out: “OUCH! SpongeBob!” He looks at SpongeBob angrily, then realizes he isn’t in the position to be complaining when his husband is lying there giving birth to a child HE put inside him!

_Blegh, that just sounds disgusting Squidward! Don’t ever put it like that again._

SpongeBob is now screaming at the top of his lungs, louder than even Squidward has _ever_ heard it – and he has heard a lot of screaming coming from that little kid’s mouth. “SQUIDDY!” SpongeBob looks up at him with tears in his eyes, his cheeks bright red. “Let it stop! Please!”

“Congratulations!” The doctor holds up a blue baby sponge before going away to get her dressed and cleaned up. “It’s a little girl.”

SpongeBob looks at her tiredly, still holding on to Squidward’s tentacle. “A girl…” he sighs, a small smile appearing on his sweaty face.

Squidward bends over and kisses him on his cheek, proud of him after all the hard work that he did and how he pushed through even though he was in so much pain, proud of him for being… for being… SpongeBob; his perfect little yellow square husband. “You did it, Sponge.”

SpongeBob smiles back at him. “Thank you for coming back. I-I missed you.”

Immediately Squidward’s smile disappears, feeling terrible for not spending any time with him when he needed it most. “I’m… I’m sorry SpongeBob. I didn’t mean to leave you… Rah! I HATE myself!” He jumps up, putting his tentacles to his head.

SpongeBob looks at him surprised: “Squiddy! Honey! Don’t say such a thing… please?”

“But I do! I keep hurting you over and over!” He paces through the room, unable to think about anything else but the horrible fact that he left SpongeBob alone when he was pregnant. Pregnant with _his_ baby too!

“Squiddy, please sit down” SpongeBob points at the bed slowly.

Squidward calms himself down a bit and takes place beside the exhausted sponge.

“Kiss me… _daddy_ ” SpongeBob giggles, suddenly realizing they _are_ daddies, and they _have_ a baby now; a perfect little daughter.

Squidward leans closer and lets SpongeBob kiss him. It’s a soft and tender kiss, one that is filled with passion and love, but also reflecting how tired SpongeBob is. Squidward’s sad feelings and thoughts instantly flush away when he feels SpongeBob’s lips on his. When they let go he speaks, his voice raw with emotion: “I love you Sponge. I will never leave you. Never.”

SpongeBob leans closer again, wanting to feel his love in a kiss instead of in words. Just as the two have their lips locked again the doctor clears his throat: “Sorry to interrupt… but here’s your daughter. To whom should I give her?”

SpongeBob points at Squidward, but Squidward pushes his finger back down and smiles at him: “You can hold her first. Please. You deserve it.”

The doctor gives the little baby, now dressed in a striped, purple outfit SpongeBob had taken with him to the hospital, to SpongeBob. He holds her close to him and starts to cry when he feels her soft little skin against his. Squidward bends over to take a good look at his daughter himself. As soon as he sees her all his worries disappear; the doubts about not being able to be a good father, the thoughts about being scared. Even _his_ emotions can’t help but take over. He wipes away the tears from SpongeBob’s eyes and then the tears from his own, both of them smiling and looking down at the little girl admiringly.

“She’s got your nose” Squidward says, poking it softly.

“And your beautiful eyes” SpongeBob giggles, looking at his baby’s eyes and up at his husbands eyes.

“She looks just like you, Sponge.”

SpongeBob shakes his head: “No, she looks just like us. _Together_.”

The baby is indeed the perfect mixture of both the octopus and the sponge. It’s a blue-greenish square sponge with rosy cheeks. A few strings of the same blonde hair Squidward used to have when he was younger curl up on the top of her head. Apart from Squidwards skin tone, eyes and curly hair the baby looks exactly like her spongey father.

Squidward kisses SpongeBobs cheek gently and lies down next to him. “She’ll look great on my paintings.”

“I’ll read her stories every night.”

“I can teach her to play the clarinet!”

“And we could go jelly fishing together!”

Their thoughts are interrupted by a sound coming from the little creature in SpongeBobs arms. They both look down at it, smiling broadly.

“I guess we’ll find out what she’s likes” SpongeBob states, stroking through her little curls.

“I guess so… But I still think she’d make a great model.”

SpongeBob giggles, grabbing hold of Squidward’s tentacle and squeezing it lovingly. He wants to say something, but before he is able to do so Squidward jumps up and looks at him with wide open eyes.

This startles SpongeBob: “What is going on, honey? Is something wrong?”

“No, no! I-I know the perfect name for our precious girl.” Squidward looks at SpongeBobs rosy cheeks and to his daughter who is carrying the same rosy cheeks. “Rosie.”

SpongeBob chuckles. “It’s perfect.” He kisses her soft, warm cheek and whispers her name to get familiar with the sound. “Rosie.”

“Do you like it?” Squidward sits back down, looking at their daughter and back at SpongeBob, who just nods as a response, Squidward very much blushing himself now. “I think it suits her.”

“It does.” SpongeBob kisses her again, and again, and again and again. Squidward looks at it, thinking he has never felt so much love in his life. Love for SpongeBob, love for Rosie, love for everything and everyone. And then suddenly it hits him.

“WAIT!” Squidward jumps up once more. “I have to leave!”

“Leave?” SpongeBob says, his eyes looking at him shocked, remembering how Squidward only said just a minute ago how he would _never_ leave him again.

Squidward, who is already standing in the doorway, looks behind his shoulder and smiles: “I’ll be back in a minute, Sponge. I promise.”

It doesn’t take too long for Squidward to indeed return. He walks in the room with a stack of paper in his hands, barely able to see over it and know where he’s going. He dumps them all down on the floor before sitting down next to SpongeBob, who is just putting a little pink bow in Rosie’s golden locks.

“Where did you get all that paper?” SpongeBob asks him without looking at him, instead looking at Rosie who he holds in front of his face, checking to see how she looks with the cute bow in her hair.

“Oh,” Squidward blushes, then grins smugly, “I guess their printer will be out of paper for the next couple of days.”

“Look at her, Squiddy.” SpongeBob shoves Rosie under his nose. “Isn’t she perfect?”

Squidward hums, already starting to write on the paper, barely even noticing Rosie in front of him.

“What do you _need_ all that paper for? Are you---” Then it hits SpongeBob and he smiles broadly at Squidward, happy for him that he finally managed to think of something, even at a weird time like this. “Are you writing your composition?”

Squidward hums again.

“How did you… where did you get, did you…?”

Squidward hums once more, holding up his tentacle to sign SpongeBob to stop talking while he jots down the melody inside his head. “Rosie” is the only answer he gives him, but SpongeBob knows perfectly well what he means; seeing Rosie gave him the inspiration for his song.

SpongeBob looks at Squidward vigorously writing everything down and secretly holds Rosie up in the air so that she’s next to him and he can compare the two. He whispers to himself: “You look like _both_ your daddies. I love you, little Rosie. And I love you, Squiddy.”

He continues staring at Squidward until he finally allows himself to fall asleep and get his well-deserved rest, Rosie still in his embrace, holding on to one of his fingers.

Squidward looks up, finally finished with his writing and ready to show it to SpongeBob. He notices SpongeBob and Rosie are both asleep and smiles, putting down his composition and gently taking Rosie from SpongeBob’s embrace. He kisses her rosy cheeks and lays down beside SpongeBob, placing their sleeping daughter in-between the both of them. “You’re lucky,” he whispers to her, “you haven’t even been in this world for a day… and you already have a _perfect_ song named after you.”

He kisses her again and takes SpongeBob’s limp hand in his before closing his eyes. “Rosie” he whispers over and over again until he too falls asleep with a smile on his face. “Rosie.”


	5. It's your song, little one

“Squidward, will you carry me?”

SpongeBob says it with the same seriousness you would ask the question containing only one different letter. It’s not that he _needs_ to be carried, he is perfectly fine – sponge’s bounce back up quickly after all – but he just _wants_ to be carried, he wants to feel Squidward’s loving tentacles around him.

Squidward shakes his head, but smiles and picks up SpongeBob, holding him like _he_ is the baby instead of Rosie. “Well, who’s going to carry Rosie if I’m carrying you?”

“I will!” SpongeBob cheers, holding out his hands for Squidward to put Rosie in them.

Squidward rests SpongeBob on his knee while taking Rosie out of the bassinette and hands her to the little sponge. SpongeBob immediately smiles and cuddles her when he has her inside his hands.

“I love her so much, Squiddy” he says, giving her little cheeks quick kisses over and over.

“Me too, Sponge, me too.”

They walk out of the hospital, Squidward holding SpongeBob holding Rosie. It is probably a weird sight, but for once he doesn’t care about what other people think of him. All that matters is his husband and his daughter and them being okay and happy. The doctor had said SpongeBob would be perfectly fine, and that in fact he already was right now. When he had told them ‘good luck with your daughter’ Squidward must’ve smiled the biggest smile he ever smiled. He never thought he would be one for daughters, or children in general, but Rosie he could live with. No, no, not just _live_ with – Rosie would get ALL of his love and attention. He thought he couldn’t ever love someone other than SpongeBob, but there she was; Rosie. With her gorgeous eyes and blue skin and her nose that’s perfect for booping and her cheeks so perfect for giving little kisses on. She’s…

“She’s perfect, SpongeBob. Thank you.”

SpongeBob looks up at him a bit confused: “T-thank you?”

Squidward just nods, smiling, while walking SpongeBob towards his boat. He doesn’t have the words to explain; all that he feels is right there in all of his octopus hearts – feelings that never could be put to words because they would fail to deliver the message.

When they reach Conch Street Squidward gets out of his boat and opens the door to SpongeBob, who is of course still holding Rosie tightly.

“Will you carry me again?” SpongeBob asks, maybe even a little flirty, biting his lip quickly thereafter. Squidward shakes his head no. “I-I-I… uh… you uh….” He looks at the pineapple house and back at SpongeBob. “Just-walk-SpongeBob.” He rushes out his words and guides SpongeBob towards the door.

The yellow creature looks at him both confused and a bit sad that he won’t carry him anymore, because he quite liked the feeling.

“Do you have your uh… your… your-your key?” Squidward starts sweating a little, his tentacles shaking as he grabs hold of the wheel on SpongeBob’s door, eying the entire house frantically as if something is wrong.

“Are you okay, honey?”

“Yes-yes fine, I’m just… keys?”

Before SpongeBob can reach in his pocket the door opens, startling the both of them. SpongeBob not expecting someone to be in his house and Squidward not expecting it to happen like this.

“Surprise!” Patrick runs out the door and hugs SpongeBob tightly, SpongeBob only just having the time to hold Rosie up in the air before she gets crushed in-between them.

“Patrick?!” He looks at him and only then notices all the hands and claws and gloves trying to pull Patrick back in – them not expecting him to ruin the surprise either. SpongeBob immediately recognizes all of them and excitedly starts bouncing up and down in Patrick’s embrace: “Sandy! Mr. Krabs! Mom and dad! And grandma!” He finally manages to squeeze himself out of Patrick’s hands and bows down, pinching the cheeks of a certain green copepod. “And even you Plankton!”

Plankton quickly slaps his fingers, wanting him to go away and stop treating him like HE is the baby. He mutters under his breath: “I only came for the food.” He crosses his arms and glances over at the inside of the pineapple home, where indeed there are tables filled with all sorts of food, and of course some Krabby Patties.

“How did this happen?!” SpongeBob runs inside, holding Rosie close to himself, and admires everything that has been done to his house; decorations, food, drinks, all of his friends and family – it’s all there.

“Squidward?” SpongeBob looks at the cephalopod admiringly, but as much as Squidward would like to take credit for this he _has_ to give it to someone else. Of course he himself had played a part in all this because he was the one that knew Rosie was born and when they’d come back. But the credit goes to someone else, a certain…

“Patrick” Squidward gestures towards the pink creature who nods his head vigorously at the mention of his name.

SpongeBob looks at his best friend. “Patrick?”

“Patrick!” Patrick exclaims, jumping up and down. “That’s my name!”

“You did this?” SpongeBob’s eyes start tearing up, thinking this is the most beautiful thing Patrick has ever done for him, and for Squidward, _and_ for Rosie.

“Oh uh… yeah!” Patrick looks around the room as if he’s just seeing it for the first time himself, a little confused as to _why_ they decorated all of it. Then he sees the tables filled with Krabby Patties, takes one and hands it to SpongeBob. “Happy birthday.”

SpongeBob takes it, looks at it, looks back at Patrick, back at the Krabby Patty, then at Rosie, and then back at Patrick again: “Well… in a way you’re right, Pat.” He smiles. “Thank you. For-for all of it.” He starts tearing up again and quickly hides his face by taking a big bite out of the Krabby Patty.

“Who’s that?” Patrick only now truly seems to notice the little blue sponge in SpongeBob’s hands and pokes it, which makes Rosie giggle.

“That’s Rosie. It’s HER birthday” SpongeBob turns her around and holds her up in the air so everyone can admire her. The crowd looks at her a little surprised for a second, the sight of a blue sponge with octopus-eyes a bit weird at first, but when they see Rosie’s cute little smile they quickly change their minds. This might be the silliest creature in the sea; but that just makes that she fits her parents perfectly.

“Wow, I’m delirious…,” Plankton’s sarcastic voice breaks the silence, “now can I get some food?”

“Oh yer not gettin’ anything today, Plankton!”

SpongeBob laughs, holding both Squidward and Rosie close to him while watching Plankton try and run away from Mr. Krabs. “Maybe you’ll work at the Krusty Krab one day, just like your daddies” he whispers to Rosie.

Squidward doesn’t hear him. If he would have, he would have said something, not wanting Rosie to spend her days the same way he does. But right now he’s too caught up in his own mind to hear anything at all except the song he wrote playing over and over, all the notes so clear and… perfect. Just like Rosie.

When the little gathering is over it’s time for Rosie to be put to bed. SpongeBob shows Squidward upstairs to where he has turned what used to be his work-out room into a nursery. There were lots of plushies to begin with so he figured this would be the right place to use as Rosie’s room. A little wooden crib is put up against the wall, basically ALL of the plushies put inside of it, leaving only just enough space for Rosie. The walls are covered in posters of bunnies and bears in all kinds of colors, matching the insane amount of plushies and toys inside the room. Normally Squidward would find all of this incredibly tacky and childish and would’ve asked to do it himself, because it’s _very_ clear who of the two actually _knows_ something about interior decorating, but for some reason this is actually quite fitting. And Rosie seems to love it too, already hugging a purple bunny plushie tightly.

“It’s… Rosie likes it” Squidward says, looking at their daughter while squeezing SpongeBob’s hand a little.

“And does daddy?” SpongeBob looks up at Squidward with glistening eyes, hoping Squidward will like what he did to the place too.

Squidward nods and kisses him quickly: It’s okay… Could use a poster of Kelpy G though. She needs to at least learn _something_ about the greater things in life.”

SpongeBob giggles and kisses Squidward again, just a quick little peck on his cheek. “And now we should read Rosie a bedtime story. Together.” He puts emphasis on the word ‘together’, wanting to fully enjoy them being daddies together – for always. “How about Daddies 4-ever? I-I made a sequel to Friends 4-ever because I thought we could use some fun ideas of what to do with our little one… our little Rosie.”

SpongeBob pulls out a book that looks almost exactly like the one he once made a long time ago. The cover is blue and has little cut-outs of a Squidward and SpongeBob that he’s drawn, but now there’s a little baby in-between them.

“That looks perfect” Squidward answers him, huddling close to SpongeBob, who puts Rosie in-between them.

“Okay, little one, the first thing you and your daddies can do is----”

When they’ve gone through the entire book SpongeBob gently places a sleeping Rosie in her crib, putting a blue, soft blanket up to her little nose. She is just lying in-between all her plushies that were once used for ‘working out’. Squidward and SpongeBob admire her cute, resting face for some time, holding hands and feeling proud of their daughter.

Looking at her face SpongeBob suddenly remembers something and turns to Squidward: “What does her song sound like?”

“Not now” Squidward answers him and pulls him closer, kissing him deeply, his voice hoarse and eager. “I love you, Sponge.”

“I love you too, Squiddy,” he wriggles himself out of Squidward’s embrace and starts jumping up and down, “but what does her song sound like? I really want to hear, I really want to hear, I really want to hear, will you play it for me, please, please, plea---”

Squidward quickly puts a tentacle over SpongeBob’s babbling mouth and gestures to Rosie. SpongeBob nods, remembering she is asleep and that they shouldn’t wake her up again.

“I will tell you. Later. Okay?” Squidward kisses him again, pushing SpongeBob against the crib eagerly while he lets his tentacles explore all of his spongey skin.

SpongeBob giggles and shivers at his touch, but quickly recovers himself: “N-not here, Squiddy.” He looks up at Squidward persuasively, his eyes glistening playfully; almost a little naughty. “Will you carry me?”

Squidward picks him up and takes him to the bedroom, SpongeBob nibbling on his shoulder as Squidward is walking. He places SpongeBob on the bed and hovers on top of him, kissing him, kissing his pores, letting his tongue explore every little bit of him. He crawls closer and tries to take of SpongeBob’s square pants but is stopped by something.

“What’s wrong, honey?” SpongeBob questions him, not understanding why Squidward stopped just went it started to feel so good.

“A-are you sure you’re ready? I-I mean you just… and just… Rosie… and you…”

“Shhh,” SpongeBob puts his finger to Squidward’s lips, “the doctor said I was fine. And I feel just fine too!” To prove himself he jumps off the bed and dances around the room, twirling, standing on his hands, jumping from one foot to the other. “See, Squiddy?”

“I see.” Squidward laughs, his concerns not gone for a hundred percent, but he figures SpongeBob will tell him when he’s isn’t ready for something. “And uh… promise me you won’t do that silly thing again? I-I mean I love Rosie but… not… not…”

“No, honey.” SpongeBob smiles cheekily, almost as if he’s up to something, and adds, muttering under his breath so Squidward doesn’t hear it. “Not yet.” He then jumps back on the bed and kicks off his shoes, takes off his pants and gestures Squidward to come closer, biting his lip.

Squidward grunts at the sight of the naked sponge in front of him and licks his lips. “And you’re sure you’re ready?”

SpongeBob nods and gestures him again. Squidward now obeying him, climbing on the bed and kissing SpongeBob underneath him over and over. He twists his tongue around SpongeBob’s while at the same time letting his suction cups play with the sensitive spongey skin close to SpongeBob’s oscula.

“Hmmm, oh, Squiddy,” SpongeBob moans and pulls him closer to whisper something he doesn’t dare say out loud, “remember when-when you asked me to talk dirty?”

Squidward stops his exploring for a second, sitting up straight next to SpongeBob, indeed remembering how that unexpectedly turned into one of the best things he had ever experienced: “Yes, I do.”

“Well-well…” SpongeBob looks away from him, his face bright red, embarrassed. “Do you remember what I s-said?”

Now it’s Squidward’s turn to blush. “Y-yes. I-I do.”

“Can I still… can I… do that?”

Squidward just nods, the thought of this already numbing his ability to speak.

“You’re-you’re legs, Squiddy.”

Squidward looks down at his legs and notices he has huddled them close to his body. He relaxes again and opens them up for SpongeBob, still unable to speak, but very much ready for SpongeBob and everything he’s about to do.

The yellow creature comes closer, holding Squidward’s knees and looking up at Squidward’s face once more before he starts, almost as if he’s asking permission again. Squidward doesn’t respond, his head just sunk far into the pillow, preparing himself for the sensations he is about to feel.

SpongeBob gets even closer, opens his mouth and puts his tongue inside Squidward’s siphon, who immediately lets out a loud moan and tightens his grip on the sheets. SpongeBob explores it fully, letting his tongue touch every little part he can find and reach, sucking, licking, wanting to taste Squidward’s flavor – never having known something could taste this good.

“Sp-sp-sp-sp” is all Squidward can bring out, wanting SpongeBob to never stop what he’s doing right now.

“Tentacle.” SpongeBob demands, holding out his hand for Squidward to give him one of his tentacles. Squidward gives it to him and SpongeBob puts this in his mouth, letting his tongue explore this now. The suction cups are pulsating when he licks them, sticking to his tongue and then letting go again. Squidward can’t control it anymore – or any of his bodily functions actually. He’s just lying there, enjoying everything SpongeBob is doing and awaiting the rest.

SpongeBob takes the tentacle out of his mouth, licking off the drool before putting it back in to suck on it, repeating this a couple times until he notices Squidward is barely able to contain himself anymore.

“Squiddy? I-I’m yours now.” He gives him his tentacle back which Squidward immediately uses to pin SpongeBob to the bed and get on top of him.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” Squidward hesitates again, noticing the skin around SpongeBob’s oscula is looking a little torn.

SpongeBob follows his glance and looks up at Squidward lovingly. “The doctor said I’m fine, that’s just normal. We sponges we bounce back up quickly, honey. And now for Neptune’s sake, just put it in!”

Squidward is reassured by this and indeed reveals his mating arm, massaging it gently for a minute before entering, letting SpongeBob watch and wait for it, liking how he is in control of this. He smirks. “Do you want it?”

SpongeBob nods, opening up his legs even more. Squidward can’t contain himself anymore at the sight of this and shoves his mating arm inside the special pore. SpongeBob letting out a quick, soft moan, grabbing hold of Squidward’s head. “M-more…”

Squidward begins to thrust his hips gently, not wanting to hurt him, but when he realizes SpongeBob only wants more and more he increases his speed. He increases a little too quickly, wanting a little too much, the sensation being too much too soon and it doesn’t take him all that long before… “Sponge, I’m… I’m…!”

SpongeBob feels the sticky fluid enter his body, not even minding that he himself wasn’t quite there yet, just happy for Squidward, knowing how long he must’ve wanted to feel this again. He lets it drip out of his pores this time, not wanting to risk what happened last time when he sucked it up. Not yet anyway.

Squidward retrieves his now sensitive mating arm and kisses SpongeBob’s sweaty face gently. “Thank you.”

SpongeBob giggles: “You’re in quite a thankful mood today, honey.”

“But _you_ still have to thank _me_. Remember the other thing on your list?”

“The thing about the romantic comedie---,” he smirks, now remembering the other thing, “yes I remember. P-please try that, please…” He opens up his legs, revealing his oscula, which is still dripping with Squidward’s cum. “I-I’d like you to, Squiddy.”

Squidward agrees, putting his two tentacles on top of each other so his suction cups are sucked together. “Ready?”

SpongeBob nods and awaits for Squidward to put it inside, biting the pillow to stop himself from moaning too loudly and wake Rosie up. Upon that note Squidward comes closer and pushes his tentacles inside, however it takes a bit of maneuvering before they are _fully_ inside; SpongeBob’s oscula never having had a thing this big inside before. SpongeBob is gripping at the bedsheets, moaning loudly, wanting Squidward to push deeper and deeper. “Ohh, Squi—mo-more, plea-please!”

Squidward continues pushing them inside and out again, in and out, in and out, until he can feel SpongeBob almost reaching his high point. He pushes one more time as deep down as he can before SpongeBob comes with a loud moan, sending his semen all over the bed, Squidward’s face and himself.

Squidward takes out his tentacles and releases the suction so he can use them as hands again instead of one big log. He lies down next to SpongeBob and kisses him on his cheek, teasing him. “I didn’t hear you say it.”

SpongeBob smiles and wraps his arms around him. “Thank you.”

A few days later it’s time for Squidward’s composition to be played by the Bikini Bottom Orchestra. However much SpongeBob had begged Squidward to reveal what he wrote, Squidward hadn’t given in, he had wanted it to be a surprise. Of course they had to take Rosie with them, it was _her_ song after all.

The three of them take place on the front row. _Reserved_ seats – something Squidward felt particularly proud about.

“Are you ready to hear your song, little one?” Squidward boops her nose as SpongeBob holds her in his arms.

“Are you going to go up there?” SpongeBob asks, knowing how much Squidward would enjoy showing himself to all the attendees, wanting to show them who is this talented octopus that wrote this perfect song.

Squidward nods, looking down at his fancy suit: “What else do you think I wore this for?”

SpongeBob just smiles at a response, proud of his husband for finally living his dream.

“We’d like to present the composer of the next composition; Squidward Q. Tentacles.”

Squidward gets up and winks at SpongeBob and Rosie before stepping on stage. SpongeBob looks at him and can’t help but think that he already looks like a proper, famous composer who has been in front of an audience like this a billion times.

Squidward takes the microphone and starts speaking, but instead of looking at the entire audience he only looks at SpongeBob and Rosie. “This perfect composition could’ve never been created without the other perfect thing I created; my own little Rosie.”

He clears his throat and starts blushing, suddenly realizing how weird that sounds now he’s saying it out loud – it certainly sounded better in his head. “I-I uh…” He looks at SpongeBob and Rosie admiringly and lovingly looking up at him and picks himself back up. “This composition is for you, my daughter. I present to you… _Rosie_.”

The orchestra starts playing as Squidward takes his place beside SpongeBob again. SpongeBob grabs hold of his tentacle and kisses it gently, tears streaming down his cheeks. Even the first few notes already entering his heart in the most perfect way. He’s keeping them there for always, devouring them, wanting to save every little bit of it. “I-it’s beautiful, honey.”

Squidward kisses his tears away. “Of course it is. It’s Rosie… in a song.”

SpongeBob smiles, looking at his husband and his daughter with love reflecting from his eyes, repeating his words. “It’s our Rosie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, I have so many mixed emotions right now! I don't want this story to EVER end, but at the same time this was just the perfect ending for it. It's so weird that this trilogy is over now. But... I do have more stories planned - mostly oneshots but I also want to continue with this storyline. Because I have A LOT planned for SquidBob, and by A LOT I mean 5 more kids... Yep. That's a little spoiler for what is to come ;)  
> I want to thank everyone for reading this story, or all three stories, or even just half of a story. Just thank you, it means a lot. I hope that everyone reading this little message has a nice rest of their day, filled with SquidBob goodness. And because I'm in as much of a thankful mood as Squiddy was I'm just going to say it once more; thank you. And I hope to maybe see you on the sequel to this trilogy sometime ♡


End file.
